Radical Self
Icelandic tantric somatic coach and truth-teller Thorhildur (Þórhildur) hosts 'Radical Self', a podcast exploring love, relationships, non-monogamy, sex, spirituality, and personal development. The show invites listeners to shed societal expectations and connect with their authentic selves through deep conversations and honest reflections. As a polyamorous married woman and relationship coach, Thorhildur shares her personal journey and challenges conventional norms. The podcast offers a space for silenced or suppressed parts of the self to come alive, blending sacred provocation with gentle, transformative honesty.
Episodes
The 20 Minutes Sex Rule Nobody Talks About: A Spicy Conversation With My Longterm Friend Elsa
Thorhildur sits down with her longtime friend Elsa (now pregnant with her fourth) to dig into how women warm up to sex differently than men, and why taking responsibility for your own turn-on, instead of waiting for your partner to figure it out, changes everything.
From there they get practical: how to actually voice what you need from a partner when you're depleted, stressed, or touched out, dem
Masturbation vs. Self-Pleasure: Behind the Lens with Boudoir Photographer Shari Van de Craen
Thorhildur sits down with Shari Van de Craen, a sexuality and sensuality coach and boudoir photographer, for a conversation that's as pleasure-filled as the topics it covers. They open with fresh takeaways from an Esther Perel conference Shari just attended, including the idea that we don't fall for people despite distance and mystery, but because of it, and that real change starts with the relati
The Real Reason I Have Time for Multiple Relationships
"How do you have time for multiple partners, two kids, a business, the gym, and friends, and still look like you're having fun?" It's the question Thorhildur gets asked constantly, and in this episode she gives the honest, unfiltered answer.
She breaks down the real shifts that freed up her time and energy: letting go of the belief that one person has to meet all her needs, ditching default togeth
Stop Pretending You Don't Want It
This is a raw, unplanned little episode built around one funny, provocative thought experiment: what if you could actually choose your desires?
Sparked by a conversation with a listener wrestling with mismatched desire in his marriage, Thorhildur explores why we don't get to pick what lights us up, whether it's wanting multiple partners, wanting to be more adventurous, or wanting to want something
Nobody Can Steal Your Partner & Here's Why
"I trust my partner, I just don't trust other people." It's a statement Thorhildur hears constantly from people curious about, but hesitant toward, non-monogamy. In this episode, recorded from bed in Munich after a day of mini golf and lake time, she's joined by her boyfriend Marcel to pull the statement apart layer by layer.
They dig into who that statement is really about (hint: not the "other p
My Wife Is Done Being "Open", But I'm Just Getting Started
Someone slid into Thorhildur's DMs with a familiar problem: he and his wife tried swinging, he loved it, and now she's done. She's not interested anymore, and he doesn't know what to do next.
In this episode, recorded on a bright Icelandic midsummer evening walking around a lake, Thorhildur answers the question by going back to her own experience of mismatched desire in her marriage, the moment sh
"It's Just About Sex": Debunking The Biggest Myths of Non-Monogamy
"Non-monogamy is just about sex." "It means you love your partner less." "It's inherently unstable." Thorhildur has heard it all, and in this episode she's busting the 7 biggest myths, one by one.
Drawing on her own decade-long journey from monogamy to polyamory, plus years of coaching clients through the same terrain, she unpacks mononormativity: the invisible belief that monogamy is the "correct
The Truth About Relationship Freedom: Why Silence Hurts More Than Honesty Ever Could
There's a question most people are too scared to ask their partner — and it's not "can I sleep with someone else?" It's will you still love me if I tell you the truth?
In this episode, Thorhildur unpacks the real cost of staying silent about what you want in your relationship — and why that silence, not honesty, is usually what causes the disconnection. Drawing from her own experience opening a 10
The Affair I Almost Had and the Spark That Led Us to Open Our Marriage
The ten years of monogamy that led us to open our marriage.
Before Þórhildur ever said the word "polyamory," she spent ten years building a monogamous marriage — one that moved through teenage infatuation, an unplanned pregnancy at 20, the identity earthquake of new motherhood, a devastating low point disguised as wedding planning, a work "friendship" that turned into real feelings, and a slow, h
"Every woman wants to be a dirty little slut" a Conversation with a Kink Mentor
Some women are 100% soft little vanilla beans... for the rest of us. This is a show for you.
For the powerful babes who need a little firm hand but desperately end up biting it instead of submitting... and all the people who dare to love us and play with us.
More about Julieta Chiara
Come learn to tie, surrender & play w/ power⚡️
Kinoko Rope Instructor | Subby Mentor
🧵 NawaFoundations™ | Em
Your Sexual Self Doesn’t Care About Your Logic
A deep conversation about the “sexual self” — the inner part of you that governs desire, turn-ons, boundaries, and truth — and what happens when you stop silencing it.
What if the part of you that governs your sexuality doesn’t care about your self-image, your relationship rules, or what makes sense logically?
In this episode, I explore the concept of the sexual self — the independent inner person
The Courage to Question Your Life. Marcel Interviews Thorhildur
What if the people around you are no longer helping you grow, but quietly keeping you small?
My boyfriend interviewed me and asked me some deeply personal questions about growth, relationships, and polyamory. We talked about the moments in my life where I wish I had been challenged differently, how new people and fresh perspectives have shaped me, and why growth often comes in waves of expansion a
The Rejection Spiral: Why Sex Dies in Long-Term Relationships
“This isn’t a relationship problem. It’s a cultural one.”
In this episode of Radical Self, I’m joined by my partner Marcel for a raw, vulnerable, and deeply human conversation about desire, rejection, and what actually happens in long-term heterosexual relationships when sex becomes difficult.
We talk about the quiet despair men feel when they are repeatedly rejected, the pressure women experience
Why Your Wife Doesn’t Tell You What She Really Wants in Bed
Your wife isn’t rejecting you. She’s protecting herself (likely without knowing).
And if her ‘no’ isn’t fully deeply safe with you, her ‘yes’ stopped being real a long time ago.
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.c
Your Overthinking Is Killing the Spark. Ask these 5 Questions to Bring It Back.
When your relationship starts to feel like a puzzle you can’t solve…
When your body feels the tension before your mind finds the words…
That’s your invitation.
In this intimate solo episode, I share five questions that will help you shift from mental noise into emotional clarity — from looping thoughts to embodied truth.
Get a notebook and pen and get ready because:
These are the questions that
Owning Your Erotic Aliveness: From Shame to Sovereignty
What does it mean to own your erotic aliveness?
And why do so many of us feel frozen, disconnected, or shamed out of our natural erotic essence?
In this episode of Radical Self, Thorhildur dives deep into the four words that can change everything: Owning Your Erotic Aliveness.
You’ll discover:
🔥 What “erotic” really means beyond sex — and how it’s the pulse of life moving through you.
🌱 Wh
My Partners Freedom Turns Me On: Polyamorous Couple Overheard
I could have named this show “I Masturbated to the Thought of You With Someone Else…”
In our third podcast episode together Marcel (my partner of 2 years) and I dive deep into topics like freedom, jealousy, tears, solo polyamory, sexual freedom, and maturity in open love. Recorded in a hammock in southern Spain, we explore:
-How freedom can be both inspiring and terrifying in relationships.
-If t
The “Fuck It” Moment
Have you ever felt the quiet nudge that says, “This isn’t it”?
This episode is about the sacred moment we say “f**k it” and choose to stop waiting and start living.
I share why we stall, how fear disguises itself as logic, and what happens when we finally listen to our soul’s whisper. Plus, I’ll tell you how to work with me if you’re ready to rise.
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curio
#11 Þetta verður miklu betra en þú getur ímyndað þér!
Jey! Ein uppáhalds mantran mín undanfarin ár fær loksins heilan þátt!
Vá hvað ég er spennt að þið fáið að hlusta á þessa litlu hjálplegu speki.
Skoðaðu betur Fullvalda LÍF prógrammið sem ég lýsi í þættinum. Gerðu sjálfsvinnuna skemmtilegri í góðum hópi kvenna!
Sendu mér skilaboð á instagram og segðu mér hvað þér fannst eða ef þú ert með spurningar um markþjálfun hjá mér.
#10 Kjartan: "Ég myndi ekki fara tilbaka í lokað samband"
Daginn eftir 11 ára brúðkaupsafmælið okkar settumst við niður og tókum upp þátt.
Við förum yfir alla sambandssöguna okkar, hvað hefur breyst síðan við opnuðum sambandið og hvað kom okkur á óvart.
Hvernig tökumst við á við afbrýðissemi?
Er lokað samband kannski aðeins falskt öryggi?
Vonandi svalar þetta hluta af forvitni ykkar um opin sambönd og gerir ykkur spennt að víkka sjóndeildarhringinn ykk
#9 What makes good sex? Marcel & Þórhildur
What makes good sex? In this episode Marcel and I sit down again to talk about sex.
We aim to answer the main question “what makes good sex" and also "what makes sex good"?
Spurningar sem við svörum í viðtalinu:
Hvað gerir kynlíf gott?
Hvernig er kynlíf mismunandi með mismunandi mökum?
Er hægt að læra að finnast gott að láta sleikja sig?
Hversu oft er eðlilegt?
Pressa frá maka?
Hvað með kynsjúk
#8 "Sælla er að gefa en þiggja." Ást fer ekki alltaf jafnt í báðar áttir.
"Love isn't always a two way street"
Hefurðu verið í þeirri stöðu að hafa meiri ást að gefa en maki getur tekið við? Og fundið jafnvel að maki hafi ekki nógu mikla ást að gefa fyrir þig?
Í þessum þætti fer ég djúpt ofan í hvernig hjarta okkar getur haldið mismikilli ást, hvernig það getur vaxið og hversu eðlilegt það er að við séum ekki alltaf jöfn í getu og fólkið í kringum okkur.
Fyrir öll ykk
#7 Eru þægindin að kæfa þig? Hvað gerist þegar þú stígur út fyrir þægindarammann?
Hvað gerir þú þegar þú veist þú þarft að fara út fyrir þægindarammann?
Drífir þú þig í því? Eða frestarðu því aftur og aftur af því að lífið er bara "of þægilegt" svona.
Á endanum nær innsæið til þín og þægindin verða kæfandi! Í þessum þætti tala ég um hvað gerist þegar þú stígur út fyrir þægindarammann og hvaða vísbendingar segja þér að það sé kominn tími til.
Fyrir konur sem vilja taka stökk m
#6 Hulda - Hættu að lifa lífinu fyrir aðra! Uppgötvaðu virðið þitt
Er álit annarra að halda aftur af þér og koma í veg fyrir að þú takir ákvörðun fyrir þig?
Hlustaðu á þennan þátt.
Í þessum þætti fæ ég til mín Huldu Margréti Brynjarsdóttur, nána vinkonu, einkaþjálfara, yogakennara, móðir og margt fleira.
Fylgið Huldu á instagram:
@leid.ad.uppeldi
Sendið mér skilaboð á instagram @sundurogsaman:
Lestu meira um Fullvalda retreat 23. júní 2024
https://sundurogsa
#5 Hanna Lilja - Kynlöngun, hormón og kvenheilsa. Hlustaðu á líkamann svo þú getir notið þín betur.
Í þessum þætti Sundur & Saman spjallaði Þórhildur við Hönnu Lilju, stofnanda GynaMedica um allt sem við kemur heilsu kvenna.
Kynlöngun, kynheilsu, hormónahringinn, breytingaskeiðið, barneignir og kynsjúkdóma.
Hvernig það er að vera kona, líðan kvenna og líðan í sambandi, upplifun af kynlífi og samfélagslega skekkju hvað varðar sambönd og kynlöngun í kringum barneignir og hvernig hormónar get
#4 Að þora að vera sexy, án þess að þurfa þess!
Pælirðu stundum mikið í því hvort þú einhver klæðaburður sé of sexy? Eða hvort að einlægi áhugi þinn á manneskju sé óviðeigandi? Eða hvort einhver haldi að þú sért að reyna við sig þegar þú ert það ekki?
Í þessum þætti fjalla ég um hvaða þættir stuðla að því að þú getir verið sexy - án þess að þurfa þess.
Ég efast ekki um að eitthvað af þessu muni koma þér á óvart. Láttu mig vita hvað þú uppgötv
#3 Af hverju samband er ekki nóg? Ekki ætlast til að ein manneskja gefi það sem heilt þorp á að veita.
Ef þú hefur áhyggjur af því að makinn þinn hafi ekki sömu áhugamál og þú, hlustaðu á þennan.
Í þættinum fjalla ég um mismunandi félagslegar þarfir sem við höfum og hvernig við verðum að fá þeim uppfyllt úr mörgum ólíkum áttum.
Lestu um Fullvalda kvennaretreatið (sem þú getur komið á) hér: https://sundurogsaman.me/fullvaldaretreat
Njótið vel, hlakka til að heyra frá ykkur á instagram:
https://
#2 Marcel - viðtal við kærastann minn um frelsi, gildi og vöxt í samböndum.
Í þessum þætti fáið þið viðtal við Marcel kærastann minn.
Bæði höfum við fetað ótroðnar leiðir í að skapa samböndin okkar innan polyamory og hér ræðum við vítt og breitt um það helsta sem hefur mótað breytingar og vöxt okkar í samböndum.
Athugið að viðtalið er á ensku. Njótið vel!
#1 Hvernig set ég mig í fyrsta sæti?
Loksins er hlaðvarp Sundur & Saman komið út!
Hér svara ég spurningunni "Hvernig set ég sjálfa mig í fyrsta sæti?"
Ef þú ert með spurningu eftir þáttinn, vilt vita meira um námskeiðin eða markþjálfunina sendu á mig línu.
Þú finnur mig á instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/sundurogsaman/
Vefsíðan mín er:
https://sundurogsaman.is
